Saturday, May 20, 2006
a stupid wall
i don't really care about other people that much anymore but i do about people who are close to me. the weird thing is somehow i have problem in trusting some of them. sometimes i question their honesty and loyalty. i do have a reason for that. well, i din't mean i completely distrust everyone but sometimes i do afraid to trust them. it's not all coming from myself but also from the people themselves on how they act. i'm afraid to do the same stupidity, foolishly trusting people just to be fooled. isn't it said that the closest people are the ones who can hurt you the most? cos they know you more than other people. i guess i'm just building somekind of wall of protection for myself. i'm tired of having to be cautious thou.. wish i can just let myself loose and be more open. maybe one day my distrust towards certain people might hurt them who care about me. hope it's not the people i really care about.
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2 comments:
iya.. having the same dilemma. im trying to open up much more thou. but wen u did it, feels like u have no burden on ur shoulder. jes let everything out. a friend of us once sed to me that i have massive trust issues. dan gw nyadar kok. same as u, i was immensely building a wall from all people. to protect meself from getting hurt. tapi kyknya i'm living a lie. ppl don get to know me, vice versa. and honestly tat don feel too good. jadi since a year back, im baby-stepping at times to walk cross the wall. :p susah sih. :D
it was just few hours ago when someone told me that i have big issue with trust and that it would bring problem for myself in life. the thing is, i don't really create an invisible wall from everybody. it's just from certain people that i think might have the possibility to cause me "damage". can't really just trust everybody so have to rely on your instinct sometimes. i'm trying to cross the wall to give myself and other people a chance too but like you said, with baby steps. better be slowly but save n sure, rite? ;)
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