getting it ranked

priority scale/rank and opportunity cost

do you still remember these topics on basic economy subject? about choices and the things you have to sacrifice for choosing that over the other. something like that.

your life change as your priority change
and making choice is the hardest part

i got that from our not-so-stupid-but-not-so-responsible-either person from the principal who came here on last weekend. he's an english man with 3 young daughters from his soon-to-be-ex venezuela wife.

besides pushing us about this year's sales target *rolled eyes*, he shared some stories of his personal life. he's know focusing in just his career and daughters and so this changes has change his priority in life. due to this divorce thing, surely his daughter's future would be effected and so he must plan it more carefully. well, i got what he means when he talked about this but i can't explain it clearly. basicly, he just wants the best for his daughters.

as for me, maybe i'm trying to do the impossible, that is putting all things in the same priority rank. trying to put everything equally and do it at the same time, which is very hard.

my mom used to do that. she led her life as a housewife, a mother and a daughter too plus as a businesswoman altogether at the same time. can you imagine how hard it is? only some people could managed to achieve and survive it and i could say that she's one of them. although not perfectly. hey, she's just a normal woman, not wonderwoman! well, basicly you can say that she managed to keep this small business survive until now, takes care of my dad, raised me (although definitely not up to what she might have wished for..), and the most important thing she did a good job in taking care of her mother until the day my grandma died. with plus minus in every aspect, for sure.

so, perhaps it's not that impossible to do, but getting it ranked would be much better and perhaps easier because you could be more focus in fulfilling each of the things.

bla bla bla...

alter ego

if she strays, doesn't mean she doesn't love him anymore
don't get it wrong, but who knows it works magic
and fix things up between her and him
she might get what she's looking for, although not the one she wants
and for him, he surely can have more peace

it's wrong. definitely something against her point of view
and that would make her become one of them she looks down to
but if it could save that like what some has experienced before,
then perhaps it can be considered again
and no one has to know anything this time
except the one to be involved, of course

aahhh.. what has she become to?
hate him who makes her feel miserable
and do things against her will just to get his attention
but perhaps it's useless anyway
and don't think she's able to do that either
no matter how it is, she won't have the heart to do that to him

maybe. just maybe
who knows who someone might become to?

friendship

what started it?
a simple gesture like a smile or hi?
common interest?
needs?

what kind of it are you offering?
friends in need, friends indeed?
friends for life?
friends for the moment?
friends based on situation?
friends in happy times only?
casual passing by "hi and bye" friends?
mutual friends with benefit?

how do you even know which one is which?
you'll be surprised to find out if the ones you thought to be for life are only those who pass by or the other way around.

most important, what makes it last?
what makes you keep it?
common interests?
understanding?
history/memories?
bonds?
common sense?
advantageous?
benefits?
needs?
fun?

mind you, it's all overrated.

orang gak penting

tolong donk jangan samain orang2 sama diri sendiri yg agak2 gimana gitu.

entah dengan maksud bercanda yg konyol atau emang beneran, bisa2nya ngomong ke orang suruh deketin ce karena tuh ce lagi berantem sama cowoknya. please donk. gak semua punya hobi sambilan kali. kalo emang niat mo jodohin beneran juga bukan gitu caranya. pantesan aja aneh bener uda tau punya co tapi tetep aja nyoba2 rupanya karena ada info embel2 kayak gitu.

hohoho kayaknya uda nge-declare gak peduli lagi deh. emang ga peduli sih kalo bukan karena mikirin yg uda lalu sih ga bakal deh ngerasa sayang. tapi kalo emang uda bener2 beda jalan mo gimana lagi. lucu ya gini aja jg rumit.

kok bisa ya?

jadi dewasa atau tetep konyol2an kayak anak kecil dan anggap semua lucu2 aja itu adalah pilihan, kan? seperti untuk menjadi baik atau jelek itu adalah pilihan.

sekarang jadi mikir kok bisa ya dulu sama2? tapi sejauh apapun coba untuk inget tetep aja gak pernah sampe sekonyol itu. jadi mungkin memang tambah dari sananya aja.

siapa gue untuk menilai tapi jujur ada rasa malu terhadap kekonyolan2 yg diperbuat karena kadang jadi terlibat secara tidak langsung hanya karena ada disana.

trust, honesty and communication

trust is earned by being honest and open in which could only happen/shown through the most important part, communication.

i came up with a new thing that wasn't actually new cos it was already there that time, although not being applied in the right way yet. there's no update or whatsoever and it's way off the topics since that time, so seems like i have to just take what i get. and it's kinda vague somehow. i'm just afraid that i misunderstood this and took it the wrong way.

and that fear of catching ugly things on sudden move did exist. i know that doubt shouldn't even be there, but one thing leads to another that leads me to that way.

i do hope this could work.

di ujung tanduk

...................................................................................

uneg-uneg

i can't believe other people can be more honest and open to me. more of "sharing". quite disappointing, actually..

i really can't rely on him, can i? hey, not that i'm clingy or incapable of being independent, but wouldn't it be nice to have someone take care of you sometimes? someone dependable who you can trust yourself with.

it's like what they say about sand. the more you try to get a grab of it, the more you lose it.

i sound desperate, huh? desperately want it to work out that i push it too hard.

from time to time it started to show that perhaps we're not suitable for each other. lots of effort needed by both of us.

btw, my dear ex is getting married soon. i don't know any details of it, though. i just heard it yesterday morning from my mom's friend. talk about scores with w, huh..

when it comes to certain point

suck it in or f*** it off

bagi mereka yg sudah terlanjur basah, yg kedua bukanlah pilihan
bagi mereka yg baru setengah basah, mungkin yg kedua bisa jadi pilihan yg lebih baik

tapi mungkin jg sebaliknya karena kadang ada hal-hal yg membuat dua situasi berbeda itu masing2 justru memilih pilihan yg satunya lagi

new year, new hope, new spirit?

happy new year!

hope it would be a bright year blessed with happiness, health and prosperity to everyone. and less disasters, please..

been doing nothing really important since the last few days of 2006, which i spent the old and new at home, sleeping, instead of going to blowfish. but seriously, no regrets. perhaps i knew that i won't enjoy the crowd that much anymore, that's why going to kapuk island was a better option. but still, you can say that it's sad. well, mom's at megamendung and dad's definitely don't really care that much about this festive season and c wasn't around, so i was that lazy to do anything.

tell you the truth, i suspected myself that i need combantrin (is the spelling correct?) cos i really really was very lazy to do anything. all i did on the last day of 2006 and the first day of 2007 was eat and sleep all day. i meant 2 days. and the last time i took that tablets was perhaps a year ago. and i was always hungry too. well, i know i'm always hungry but this was different.
anyway, still in holiday mood this whole week although things started to resume on the second day of 2007 but lots of people are still on their leave until next week, that would be in 2 days time.

i sincerely hope this new year would bring good things in any kind of relationships i have, especially my friendship with the gitl. so that i can really know and feel the meaning of true girlfriends although i doubted it few times. c always said that if i alredy set my mind on something, it would be difficult to change my thoughts or assumptions and it often makes him upset. i know that people shouldn't make assumptions but sometimes the situations are not good enough to explain anything. or perhaps it does explains the bad perfectly.

people change
love fades
seasons come and go
but friendship last forever

i sincerely hope the last one is true, although i don't like the sound of the first two. things would be much easier if we're still pure, honest and understanding with each other, don't you think?

another thing, i don't know if my relationship with c could be said as an improvement. well, if you compare it with early last year, surely it does. let's just say that we're taking baby steps.

oh, i got this cheesy word of wisdom from yud but perhaps it's right:

don't love with your heart or you'll lose your mind
love with your mind so you can use your heart

interesting. all about love and friendship, eh? that's the lighter topics. things like jobs and life can be too depressive to talk about, so this is better.

be optimist!