gue bener2 sebel banget sama tuh orang bego sampe kadang rasanya gue pengen nyumpahin atau wish dia gak ada. kalo bukan karena takut karma dan katanya juga kalo orang yg suka marah2 bisa kena kanker pasti uda beneran gue sumpain. emang dasar bego gak punya otak dagang gak becus tapi sok2an bikin kesel sok dagang tapi pake otak sosial (baca: sok sial). mestinya dia join aja tuh UN biar kerja sosial beneran daripada nyusain orang. bener2 gak penting banget tu orang idup. sumpa males banget gue merasa dirugikan cape2 tapi kayak gitu.
BAHHH!!!!!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
mr. p
rese juga yah ini orang mentang2 tau dark secrets orang trus jadi sksd trus ngorek2 gak perlu and gak sopan juga. biarpun just a joke tetep aja doesn't sound appropriate diliat dari manapun.. skrg katanya uda punya ce dan uda tobat jadi yah good for him then. moga2.
Monday, September 25, 2006
selfish, or just ignorant?
i tot it was going to be over on that saturday night. it's true that he can be very selfish and inconsiderate about my feeling, that's why i sometimes wonder about this. to be honest, i'm starting to feel a bit tired and hurt being treated that way. considering that i've changed quite better compared to my last relationship, this is quite disappointing.. well, relating to my previous post, i still do the same for this one, but if there's nothing to be hope, what's left in it? anyway, he said he was sorry and he'll try to change. he's learning to change and he ask me to help. hm..
i'm not trying to pick a fight because it's just simple things (i said simple, NOT unimportant!), but since it was me who often get hurt because of it, i have to make things clear for myself.
i'm not trying to pick a fight because it's just simple things (i said simple, NOT unimportant!), but since it was me who often get hurt because of it, i have to make things clear for myself.
alternative needed
i'm used to prepare myself for the worst when it comes to certain things. it doesn't mean that i let it be cos i still try what i can do to avoid the worst, but sometimes there are things that perhaps you just already knew the result. and for me, for example, the worst is already here, and since i and the others are already prepared for it for quite sometime, it's not really that shocking anymore, but still it's shocking.
some people refers prepared for the worst as being pessimistic and negative thinking but i think it's not really like that. it's better to prepare for any possible outcomes, good or bad, rather than putting your hopes "setinggi langit dan bintang" only to know later that it's nothing and it makes you more desperate.
some people refers prepared for the worst as being pessimistic and negative thinking but i think it's not really like that. it's better to prepare for any possible outcomes, good or bad, rather than putting your hopes "setinggi langit dan bintang" only to know later that it's nothing and it makes you more desperate.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
beta, beta and beta
i don't even know what the hell is the meaning of beta version of everything, and now i've changed my blog into beta and don't even know what's the different with the usual one. this is because an made a big fuss about it saying about random invitations that not everybody gets one.
well, just try it then. nothing to lose accept for more troubling to login rather than the usual cos i have to use my google account, which in this is my gmail account.
well, just try it then. nothing to lose accept for more troubling to login rather than the usual cos i have to use my google account, which in this is my gmail account.
Monday, September 11, 2006
being alone, lonely
gak tau kenapa gue sering merasa kalo gue tuh sendirian padahal sebenernya gak begitu karena gue tinggal sama bonyok dan punya sodara dan teman2 biarpun gak bisa dibilang banyak. kadang gue bisa merasa kalo gue kayaknya sendirian di dunia ini, makanya gue takut banget kalo sampe bonyok gue uda gak ada lagi. gak berani ngebayanginnya ampe rasanya gue rela nuker umur gue sendiri jadi lebih pendek asal mereka lebih panjang umur dan sehat. ada bedanya kan antara sendirian karena memang lagi pengen sendirian sama sendirian karena memang gak ada siapa2 lagi. yah, siapa sih yg gak takut jadi sebatang kara?
kalo kayak sekarang ini bonyok gue lagi nonton tv di luar dan gue lagi duduk di kamar online sambil sekali2 ngeliat keluar jendela yg pemandangan malamnya lumayan bagus karena menghadap ke monas ditambah ada bulan yg biarpun uda ga sebulet dan segede kemaren2 tapi tetep terang. di jalanan masih banyak mobil yg lewat dan kira2 5 menit yg lalu banyak mobil pemadam kebakaran yg jalan menuju kota. entah ada kebakaran dimana. gue merasa gue sendirian karena hal2 di luar sana gak ada yg berhubungan sama gue. bukannya gue sok ignorant tapi memang gak related langsung kan jadi rasanya i'm not part of that things.
memang kadang gue suka being alone, sendirian do my own things or nothing at all. gue bisa kalo misalnya harus makan, nonton di bioskop, atau jalan2 shopping sendirian di mall. in fact, i often did that last time in melb. and i enjoy it. banyak orang yg gak bisa atau gak mau kalo disuruh makan atau nonton sendirian di luar karena katanya kesannya kasian banget. kesannya jadi mereka gak bisa mandiri dan selalu ketergantungan sama temen atau orang lain. well, kalo gue sih sebodo amat kalo emang pas lagi sendirian dan gue laper masak gue harus nungguin ampe ada yg nemenin baru gue bisa makan? bisa mati kelaperan donk gue yg punya maag dan cepet laper gini hehe.
the point is, i do can enjoy being alone. sometimes. karena ada kalanya juga sendirian itu dilakukan bukan karena pilihan tapi karena memang gak ada yg bisa menemani atau orang yg diingankan untuk menemani gak ada saat itu.
kadang gue mikir apa orang yg punya banyak banget temen sampe everywhere they go pasti ada yg dikenal kayak gitu pernah merasa lonely ya? gue jealous sama orang yg supel dan pinter bergaul jadi banyak bgt temennya. tapi kalo sampe orang seperti mereka aja bisa merasa lonely, apalagi gue yg temennya cuma itu2 doank yah. rasa keterikatan akan sesuatu itu bener2 gak enak, jadi seperti ketergantungan. seperti terikat dengan perasaan takut sendirian jadi kalo sendirian rasanya jadi beban yg susah dan sengsara banget.
memang ada bedanya antara sendirian dengan kesepian. seperti yg tadi gue bilang, kita memang gak sendirian tapi kadang merasa kesepian. entah apa yg kurang. kurang kerjaan atau kurang sibuk mungkin? hehe.. orang sibuk pun kadang bisa merasa kesepian juga kan? kayaknya ada kata2 mutiara tentang ini yg bunyinya kira2 bilang gini: being alone doesn't mean lonely. jujur, gue sendiri pernah pake kata2 itu buat menghibur beberapa temen gue yg curhat kalo mereka merasa kesepian padahal mereka lumayan aktif kehidupan kerja dan sosialisasinya. tapi ternyata kadang bisa juga yah not being alone doesn't mean not lonely kalo kita memang bukan ada di lingkungan yg tepat.
bla bla bla.. am i talking another nonsense?
kalo kayak sekarang ini bonyok gue lagi nonton tv di luar dan gue lagi duduk di kamar online sambil sekali2 ngeliat keluar jendela yg pemandangan malamnya lumayan bagus karena menghadap ke monas ditambah ada bulan yg biarpun uda ga sebulet dan segede kemaren2 tapi tetep terang. di jalanan masih banyak mobil yg lewat dan kira2 5 menit yg lalu banyak mobil pemadam kebakaran yg jalan menuju kota. entah ada kebakaran dimana. gue merasa gue sendirian karena hal2 di luar sana gak ada yg berhubungan sama gue. bukannya gue sok ignorant tapi memang gak related langsung kan jadi rasanya i'm not part of that things.
memang kadang gue suka being alone, sendirian do my own things or nothing at all. gue bisa kalo misalnya harus makan, nonton di bioskop, atau jalan2 shopping sendirian di mall. in fact, i often did that last time in melb. and i enjoy it. banyak orang yg gak bisa atau gak mau kalo disuruh makan atau nonton sendirian di luar karena katanya kesannya kasian banget. kesannya jadi mereka gak bisa mandiri dan selalu ketergantungan sama temen atau orang lain. well, kalo gue sih sebodo amat kalo emang pas lagi sendirian dan gue laper masak gue harus nungguin ampe ada yg nemenin baru gue bisa makan? bisa mati kelaperan donk gue yg punya maag dan cepet laper gini hehe.
the point is, i do can enjoy being alone. sometimes. karena ada kalanya juga sendirian itu dilakukan bukan karena pilihan tapi karena memang gak ada yg bisa menemani atau orang yg diingankan untuk menemani gak ada saat itu.
kadang gue mikir apa orang yg punya banyak banget temen sampe everywhere they go pasti ada yg dikenal kayak gitu pernah merasa lonely ya? gue jealous sama orang yg supel dan pinter bergaul jadi banyak bgt temennya. tapi kalo sampe orang seperti mereka aja bisa merasa lonely, apalagi gue yg temennya cuma itu2 doank yah. rasa keterikatan akan sesuatu itu bener2 gak enak, jadi seperti ketergantungan. seperti terikat dengan perasaan takut sendirian jadi kalo sendirian rasanya jadi beban yg susah dan sengsara banget.
memang ada bedanya antara sendirian dengan kesepian. seperti yg tadi gue bilang, kita memang gak sendirian tapi kadang merasa kesepian. entah apa yg kurang. kurang kerjaan atau kurang sibuk mungkin? hehe.. orang sibuk pun kadang bisa merasa kesepian juga kan? kayaknya ada kata2 mutiara tentang ini yg bunyinya kira2 bilang gini: being alone doesn't mean lonely. jujur, gue sendiri pernah pake kata2 itu buat menghibur beberapa temen gue yg curhat kalo mereka merasa kesepian padahal mereka lumayan aktif kehidupan kerja dan sosialisasinya. tapi ternyata kadang bisa juga yah not being alone doesn't mean not lonely kalo kita memang bukan ada di lingkungan yg tepat.
bla bla bla.. am i talking another nonsense?
distance makes heart grow fonder
itu kata2 dari dpkcl yg dulu dia dapet dari ex-nya pas gue cerita ttg gue ma c. yg herannya smua orang langsung komen: gpp lah jkt-bdg deket bgt kok. er... padahal gue belom ngomong/complain apa2 loh! haha..
what do u think? ada benernya ada basinya deh pasti. emang si karena jarak jadi bisa bikin kangen jadi tambah sayang tapi bisa jg karena kangen lama2 ga liat orangnya jadinya cari pengganti deh. ada bantahan? percaya deh ma gue, i've seen both sides before and the bad side happens more than the good.
banyak yg nyari sambilan pas lagi ditinggal ma pacarnya atau malah ada jg yg pergi yg justru nyari sambilan dengan alesan buat nemenin di tempat baru. ampun deh.. hari gini kayaknya trust uda krisis banget yah.
well, moga2 gak bakal pernah ada yg kayak gitu sama gue dan orang2 sekitar gue lagi deh. gue sendiri belom pernah dan jangan sampe kena deh. bisa2 jadi gak ada yg percaya lagi sama yg namanya long distance relationship deh padahal actually it's not that bad asal masing2 punya trust dan bisa megang trust yg dikasih itu.
what do u think? ada benernya ada basinya deh pasti. emang si karena jarak jadi bisa bikin kangen jadi tambah sayang tapi bisa jg karena kangen lama2 ga liat orangnya jadinya cari pengganti deh. ada bantahan? percaya deh ma gue, i've seen both sides before and the bad side happens more than the good.
banyak yg nyari sambilan pas lagi ditinggal ma pacarnya atau malah ada jg yg pergi yg justru nyari sambilan dengan alesan buat nemenin di tempat baru. ampun deh.. hari gini kayaknya trust uda krisis banget yah.
well, moga2 gak bakal pernah ada yg kayak gitu sama gue dan orang2 sekitar gue lagi deh. gue sendiri belom pernah dan jangan sampe kena deh. bisa2 jadi gak ada yg percaya lagi sama yg namanya long distance relationship deh padahal actually it's not that bad asal masing2 punya trust dan bisa megang trust yg dikasih itu.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
objective or subjective
either my opinion about something or someone is objective or subjective, i have my own reason(s) that maybe other people or even the person himself/herself won't understand.
it's not easy to change people's opinion about someone, especially from the first impression they get when they meet/see the person. needless to say about bad things cos even good things might be less highlighted when they already think about him/her badly. that's why many people try to make a very good impression when they met new people, although the fake masks would worn-off eventually.
sometimes the "was/used to be" plays an important part in this. what i mean was the first impression or what they used to know about the person is important because that's where usually people start to judge/compare. for example, if someone change from bad to good, there's a big chance that people might still doubt the new-and-changed him/her because what they knew from experience was he/she was bad, so it's not that easy for people to accept and trust that person. on the other side, if someone change from good to bad, they would feel that it's too bad that he/she become a bad person because that he/she was a good person.
i personally often doubt that people could change from bad to good because surely the other way around is more likely to happen. i'm not judging that it's impossible because i still think that it could happend.
confused? nvm, this is just something that crossed my mind when the topic came out earlier.
it's not easy to change people's opinion about someone, especially from the first impression they get when they meet/see the person. needless to say about bad things cos even good things might be less highlighted when they already think about him/her badly. that's why many people try to make a very good impression when they met new people, although the fake masks would worn-off eventually.
sometimes the "was/used to be" plays an important part in this. what i mean was the first impression or what they used to know about the person is important because that's where usually people start to judge/compare. for example, if someone change from bad to good, there's a big chance that people might still doubt the new-and-changed him/her because what they knew from experience was he/she was bad, so it's not that easy for people to accept and trust that person. on the other side, if someone change from good to bad, they would feel that it's too bad that he/she become a bad person because that he/she was a good person.
i personally often doubt that people could change from bad to good because surely the other way around is more likely to happen. i'm not judging that it's impossible because i still think that it could happend.
confused? nvm, this is just something that crossed my mind when the topic came out earlier.
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