hats off

Pak Harto died yesterday at 1.10pm after a decade of struggling with all his illness, they said.

seems all those who have grudges towards him might finally be able to let him go in peace. so sad actually. i've always liked him as a president, despite all the bad things he's done according to people, he's made this country stood in better condition for 32 years last time. at least it was well organized in the surface, unlike the current situation that seems hostile and riots might happen any time if something's not up to people's wants or needs. it seems that things go on in order last time. i like it much better that way, considering people here are.. well, you know what i mean.

as i wrote this, they are on the way to the airport to take him to his last resting place in Istana Giri Bangun, Solo.

i'm sure people would remember him for always. the man who ruled this country for 32 years in which things change after that. not sure towards the better or worse. yet.

intersections in life

two nights ago after that chat i suddenly remember about melbourne again. i loved that city. i still love it.

makes me wonder again about the other road i might've have, have i not taken this one. about various possibilities from the alternative options have i chosen to follow that other path. no clear answer for which is right and wrong.

surely the outcomes would be far different from this, but would it be a better one? maybe yes, maybe no or maybe things would just end up the same.

saw the temp last night and was quite shocked that i couldn't say a thing. felt a bit scared. maybe that's the real thing that would be shown if it finally really hit. i've predicted that there must be something behind the things just shown in the surface. too calm and maybe looks ignorant sometimes. bit similar to my old man. ann did told us about testing the water to see if there's any violence might involved. i'm definitely sure it's not for this one. but still, the temp itself shocked me.

i guess i screwed things up again. big time this time. don't know if there's any remedy for it or it's just it.

sigh.

loyalty for sale?

is being loyal to your partner in a relationship a plus point?

this is not a tricky question. more like a rhetorical question. to me.

for me personally, being loyal is not an option in a relationship. in fact, in any kind of relationship. be it love, family, friendship or business. it's something unnecessary to be questioned. but again, that's my opinion.

for people who are used to do something bad or in the past, surely doing good does count as a plus point. that, is maybe really an option for them.

so, pertanyaan untuk yg di sisi seberang sana: separah apakah kamu sampai-sampai menjadi setia adalah sebuah nilai tambah?

pastinya semua orang punya alasan mereka sendiri dan saya tertarik untuk mendengar berbagai macam versinya.

pursuit of happiness

i've been reading my past posts around last year. sadly, the conclusion is i'm still there. still here. no where.

i.am.still.lost.

envy those who knew exactly what they want and look for in life. envy them in their pursuit of getting themselves there, where they wanted to be. happy and content with the meaning of their life.

as for me? i don't even know what i want out of life. lost. am i looking at the wrong direction? hmph. who am i kidding, i don't even know where i'm going to. don't even know if i have any destination, before that final one if you get what i mean.

actually life is drawn in certain patterns, right? and those who are lucky enough could fill it and make it to the fullest and achieve everything great in life. those who are less lucky could only go through it with emptiness. ironic, isn't it?

well, don't mind me. maybe it's just me over fussing it. not the first time and i could assure you this is not the last. things will eventually get back to normal again for some time before i repeat this sighing again.

crap.

don't judge a book by its cover
what you see isn't always what you get
don't believe everything you hear/see
and many more.

there are many words of wisdom teaching us not to naively (is this word exist?) trust everything you hear or see, cos the real thing might not be like what it seems to be. sometimes things that are shown are to make believe, that the impressions given are what it is.

had a small talk with w earlier today. understandable that he thinks we have better one cos we look more "lovey dovey".

reality check, it's not.

hmm...

new year's resolutions, anyone?

tiap akhir taon menjelang taon baru kayaknya banyak yg mulai ngomongin new year's resolutions. ada yg taon baru mau dapet kerja baru, ada yg pengen dapet cowok, de el el.

beberapa taon lalu juga gue kayak gitu. bikin daftar hal-hal yg mesti diperbaiki supaya jadi a better person. a better me. hasilnya? ada yg cuma diinget selama sebulan pertama trus sisanya balik ke awal lagi.

lupa. males. ga guna. dan macem2 sebab atau alasan lainnya.

kesimpulannya? jalanin aja deh ya.

btw, yk's father passed away last friday and dikremasi kemarin. pas melayat ke rumah duka hari selasa malem ketemu yk dan sempet ngobrol2 sebentar. looks like their wedding plan jadi berubah yah..

well, everything happens for a reason. makanya jalanin aja, kan? bukannya santai dan no planning tapi plan sambil jalan dan sambil liat aja kali ya..