the nut house

there are times when i feel like my world is collapsing. no, wait. it's me who could go crash and burn any minute. just wait and see for how much longer i could hang on to this whole life's madness. and there's a darn bad excuse for that.

i've been walking with no clear direction nor destination for the past few years. clueless. sad but true to say that my whole life up to this moment is meaningless. what's the point of all this, anyway? i went through day by day with no satisfaction to life. i do grateful for what i have now, all of them. two parents, a small business that could earn enough money to buy food and pay the bills, a good bf (he prefers to be described as unique and maybe that's more suitable, actually), and some good friends, but still i can't get the aim of the life itself.

each day is filled with routine stuff, the same thing each and everyday. from weeks to months and then years. and none of those contribute a meaningful significant value to the journey. i guess none of those were done from the heart, eh?

again, maybe it's just me. maybe i do need to really hold on to a religion to guide me as they always say?