what makes ppl stay? what makes ppl leave?

kalo ngeliat orang2 yg keliatannya too good to be true tapi memang that kind of luck does exist rasanya iri dan jadi sedih.

orang bilang mata itu jendela hati dan rasanya memang benar karena semua bisa terlihat dari cara memandang, memperlakukan dan sebagainya yg semuanya menyampaikan atau mungkin sekedar menyiratkan apa yg dirasakan di hati. atau apa yg tidak dirasakan juga bisa tersampaikan.

jangan sampai alasan untuk stay adalah karena stuck. yg walaupun menyedihkan tapi adalah kenyataan yg sangat umum.

random quotes

"a smile can hide the tears, a laugh can hide the pain, but nothing stops the longing to have you back again"

love this quote

"light travel faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright till they open their mouth"

fragile, handle with extra care

kalo diliat2 mungkin kita tuh kayak boneka porselen yg dari tampilan luar kayaknya bagus ya? padahal sebenernya sangat rapuh. kalo kesenggol dikit dan jatoh paling dikit kalo gak hancur pasti somplak.

sedih rasanya kalo dipikir2 gak punya dasar yg kuat.
trust - bermasalah karena kurangnya komunikasi dan keterbukaan
communication - bermasalah karena kurangnya keterbukaan
honesty - bermasalah entah karena apa lagi
semuanya lingkaran setan yg saling berhubungan dan seharusnya saling menopang.

sampai sekarang dengan adanya tanggal tetep aja selalu ada hal2 tertentu yg tiba2 muncul sedikit demi sedikit yg menambah keraguan gue. dan mungkin ketakutan gue. dan bukan sesuatu yg mengada-ada. bukan jg cold feet, karena ini sudah ada sejak dulu dan gue pesimis akan selalu ada. not shockingly. mungkin selama ini gue yg selalu denial dan berusaha menipu diri sendiri karena dibutakan oleh rasa. rasa yg sebenernya juga gue gak tau apakah itu nyata juga dari sana atau cuma gue yg sibuk sendiri.

yg pasti, gue gak suka dan gak sudi kalo dibodoh-bodohin. gue gak mau jadi orang terakhir yg tau mengenai hal penting yg seharusnya gue lebih tau daripada orang lain.

for better or for worse. bah

after so long without any update here finally i come again to rant. about the same old f***ing boring things. sigh

i tot it would be a fun and exciting thing to see to but maybe i was wrong. sigh. i'm too upset to even write the whole thing.

nevermind then. sigh

hmm... it's been a while since i updated anything here. yeah, my pet world took over my real life world :p

well, nothing new anyway. life still sucks at times, especially those relates to home hell home. bah

something about the past

someone once told me that i'm being very brave when he heard about a piece of my story. he said that not many people would've had enough guts to take the path i chose that time, to make that moment's decision. but i never agree with him. i thought that was a very crazy of me to do such thing. in fact, i still think that it was a crazy thing i did. a very sloppy, careless decision made withough thinking it thoroughly enough again and again, maybe?

well, one thing about the guy who said that is a very fluet sweet-talker, so you'll agree more with me. and if you try reading it between the lines, i think that what he was trying to tell me is that i'm very stupid. of that, i have no words to defend myself. nor that i want to.

another weird dream

i had a weird dream 2 nights ago and just now i look up for the meaning on the website i found last time. it's damn too embarrassing to tell the meaning, but i'm laughing when i read it haha..

new year, new beginning, new hope?

have faith.

that's a piece of advise i got from a friend when i told him about my unpredictable future about it.

maybe i should make that my new year's resolution? blah.

oh, happy new year guys.

and on a lighter note, i just came back from his home town. a dear buddy of his were getting married and he's one of the best men. as said and proven, the weather's very hot there and nothing much to be expected except for lots of food.

hmm...