pursuit of happiness

i've been reading my past posts around last year. sadly, the conclusion is i'm still there. still here. no where.

i.am.still.lost.

envy those who knew exactly what they want and look for in life. envy them in their pursuit of getting themselves there, where they wanted to be. happy and content with the meaning of their life.

as for me? i don't even know what i want out of life. lost. am i looking at the wrong direction? hmph. who am i kidding, i don't even know where i'm going to. don't even know if i have any destination, before that final one if you get what i mean.

actually life is drawn in certain patterns, right? and those who are lucky enough could fill it and make it to the fullest and achieve everything great in life. those who are less lucky could only go through it with emptiness. ironic, isn't it?

well, don't mind me. maybe it's just me over fussing it. not the first time and i could assure you this is not the last. things will eventually get back to normal again for some time before i repeat this sighing again.

crap.